let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
