a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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