Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
