I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
