Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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