Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Semen is not good for contacts.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
