I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
