So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
