I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
