I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
