barbara walters just said penis...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
