I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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