i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
