she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
