Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
