Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize