I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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