My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize