Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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