marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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