Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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