I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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