Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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