I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
