she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
