Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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