as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize