Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
