had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
