porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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