super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
