Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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