R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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