dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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