Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize