I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
