Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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