you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
