he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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