the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
