She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
