It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
