That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
