And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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