It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
