you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize