FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
