she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
