My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
