I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
