theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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