will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
