Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize