She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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