She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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