a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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