is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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