i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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