mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Found your dick twin last night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How naked do you want me to be?
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