Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
