This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
