once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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