I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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