toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
