You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dear god my vagina.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
