brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
