Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
